I miss you so much…

I don’t usually post personal things but this feeling is overwhelming me, swallowing me whole really.
And since I have no friends to vent to and I’m mostly alone this just feels like the safest place since I’m ignored here anyway… Lol
I just miss my ex Jon so much, I miss his voice, his laugh and his ability to make me feel like I’m floating.
I miss talking to him about everything and nothing all at once. I miss the feeling of being whole. Even though we never met in person seeing as he’s in LA and I’m in jersey and we haven’t kissed or just embraced one another and create all those little moments but I still miss him as if we have.
I’m kind of glad we didn’t though because then I can only imagine the pain I would have to endure if we had and I can’t even fathom the thought. I just would love to hear him say he loved me one last time or see the little thumbs up emoji that we made to be our own little symbol of love pop up on my screen. I just want it all back… I just want to be happy and smile again.

"It’s easy to have a relationship and show each other only the beautiful shiny things. Sharing good parts about you is elementary, so finding a partner in life can’t be only about showcasing these agreeable characteristics, but also the less impressive ones. In a strange way, true intimacy lies in that dark side—in making peace with the fact that it lives inside you somewhere—so that you can share it with the person and they can be there to help you overcome it." - Claudio Sanchez